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My Walk of Life: “Now I know what a blessing walking is”

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Most fit, active, professional young women would be devastated to discover they had a debilitating disease such as multiple sclerosis. But Liz Wray, 42, from East Yorkshire, chose to see it differently

The way the doctor looked at me back in 1999 – when I said I saw my diagnosis as a gift – is something I will never forget. He’d just finished explaining the results of my MRI brain scan. I had multiple sclerosis. I’ve always believed it’s not what happens to you, but what you make of your life that counts, I asserted. He scribbled the words ‘euphoric reaction’ on my notes. Being a psychologist, I knew what that meant. He thought I was hysterical. I was dispatched to hospital, where my treatment with intravenous steroids and neurophysiotherapy began and my life as I’d known it ended.

I’d always lived on the go. When I wasn’t travelling the world visiting fantastic cities with my work, I’d be hiking around the Yorkshire countryside. The thought of losing my ability to walk terrified me. But my MS attacks increased. My whole body would suddenly stop working and my legs collapse. Just months after my diagnosis I had no choice but to use a wheelchair. It’s frightening not being able to walk: your identity crumbles. But I strived to stay positive and focused on what I could still do, which turned out to be most things.

In some ways, it was harder for those close to me. They found it upsetting to see me in the wheelchair and, on a practical level, they had to get used to my new height. When I went shopping with my mum she kept banging me into things! My husband took it very badly. He was a challenging man to live with and that didn’t get easier when he started drinking and smoking more, and ran up debts. Things got worse in 2000 when my father had to undergo a critical heart operation. At the hospital, as I waited for word on his condition, a couple of the nurses revealed their ambitions to start up a restaurant. I couldn’t help myself – I sat for hours giving them career counselling. We ended up having a wonderful time. But the best thing of all was my dad survived. For a while afterwards, life got better and I became more confident in the wheelchair, but then, in August 2006, my husband had a heart attack and died. He didn’t leave a will and so our house was taken to pay off all his debts. Even for a positive thinker like me, all this was a huge blow.

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In the end though, good things emanated from my financial predicament as well. I met a will writer who thought everyone should hear my cautionary tale. I joined him at seminars speaking about the importance of leaving a will. For the first time in ages, I felt like a strong force in the world again. My body responded, and my MS began to go into remission. Over the following months, I regained more mobility and was able to enjoy the glorious Yorkshire Dales again. The feeling of your legs rooted firmly and confidently to the ground had been a sensory pleasure I never used to notice. But now I know what a blessing the simple act of walking is. It was discussing this with my friend, Tracy Pepper, that led us to set up a company called the Walking Coach (www.walkingcoach.co.uk) three years ago. Our sessions take place in the open air – sometimes along country trails, sometimes among inspiring city architecture. We coach clients to think positively and achieve their goals, using the environment as a focus for discussion and reflection. I find fresh air and exercise promotes clear thinking and the inspirational surroundings encourage creativity. I often share my experiences too, just to prove what I’ve always said: it’s not what happens to you, but what you make of your life that counts.

YOUR WALK OF LIFE

Do you have a story to tell about a life-changing walk or how walking has transformed your world? Contact us at walkmag@ramblers.org.uk

  One Response to “My Walk of Life: “Now I know what a blessing walking is””

      At 2:10 pm on February 9th, 2010 Geraldine Murphy wrote:

    I’ve had this problem when I was Dx’d with MS in 1996. Several times while kneeling at the bathtube to wash my hair under the faucet my legs would collapse and I’d end up sitting on the floor with hair dripping wet and me bewildered. By putting my arms on the tube I would push myself up until I knew I could stand straight, wrap my hair in a towel, dry it and go to school
    {Nursing School}. When I mentioned it to my neuro he said it’s a cardinal sign of MS. It happened to me about 4 times when I wash my hair like that and soon after I was in a wheelchair and still am. You are very lucky to have RRMS. Mine is CP.

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