Christopher Somerville’s A-Z of walking: F

F is for Flora and Fauna – my favourite outdoor twins. I’ve been going out with both of them for a long time now. Yes, I know it seems a bit daring, but they’re inseparable, and… well, you can’t have one without the other, as the old song says. Two sides of the same coin. They certainly don’t give it all up on first acquaintance – no, they’re old-fashioned that way. Both absolutely beautiful girls, very natural, and both with that instant ‘wow!’ factor. But you have to put in a lot of time to appreciate them properly.

There are differences between them. You never hear a peep out of Flora. And she’s a down-to-earth kind of girl, very rooted. Whereas Fauna’s either all over the place, up in the air and gabbling fit to beat the band. Or she keeps herself to herself as quiet as, say, a mouse, and runs a mile if you make the wrong move.

Now when they first caught my eye, both Flora and Fauna used to be very reliable about turning up on time (give or take a week or two), and in the usual places, too. But recently they’ve been getting a bit flighty, a bit unpredictable. Flora’s retreated to the hilltops when she used to be a valley girl, while Fauna’s either much too early or doesn’t turn up at all. Springs have been especially funny. Flora’s started popping up when you just don’t expect her, and Fauna’s been making all sorts of saucy moves before I’ve even got my thermals off! This spring, though, they were both sulky and didn’t put in an appearance till I’d almost given up on them.

I hope they’re not thinking of leaving me. I’d really, really miss them.